dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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