Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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