Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
