I wish I could punch you in the face.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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