Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
