Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
