I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize