is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
