Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
