At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
