So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
