Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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