somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
