my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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