Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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