gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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