He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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