yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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