i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
