My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
