I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
