hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
