he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
