omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
