***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
