I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This house was built for laser tag.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
