now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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