I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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