Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
