blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartenderās bed
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
