Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
