I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
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