I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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