The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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