Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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