we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
