I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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