I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
