I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
