Screwed.edu
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I lost the right to judge tonight
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
