yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
