batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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