so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
