And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
