I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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