I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
