DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
