What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
