The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
