do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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