You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
