If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Randomize
