i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
