Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
