whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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