We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
