UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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