i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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