I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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