Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
