I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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