I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize