I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
